So, I asked a few
of my married friends for their opinion.
I chose this select group because
they are older - over fifty years
old - and have been married for many
years. Their answer was quite shocking-
to me. Based on their personal experience
and those of their friends, they think
that 90% of married couples are, in
one way or another, unhappy with their
Granted that they
do not live happily ever after, as
in the fairy tales, this is still
quite sad - if it is indeed true.
Is there a cure?
Maybe there is.
In many olden societies,
such as the Chinese, where arranged
marriages are commonplace, it is a
practice to check the horoscope (Ba
Zi) of the intended couple for compatibility,
before they are allowed to tie the
Does this always
work? It increases the chance but
it does not work all the time. However
through years of observation, they
found out that if you combine it with
some conditions, you can increase
the chances of having a happy and
While this wisdom
is for everyone, it is even more critical
for those with a history of unsuccessful
marriages or relationships, to take
Here are some of
In the old days,
the husband must always be older than
the wife. This is like a tradition.
It cannot and should not be broken.
However the ancients also observed
that for those with unsuccessful marriages
or relationships, breaking the tradition
- i.e. having an older wife - can
strangely be the answer. To the ancient
Chinese, the wife is considered older
even if she is a day older than the
husband. However for better results,
a wider age gap is preferred.
The other option
for a more successful relationship
is for the husband to be much older
than the wife. To the ancient Chinese,
much older means at least 8 years
apart. In practice, 10 or 15 years
older is perfectly acceptable or desired.
It would also increase
the chances if there is a big disparity
in the social and economic standard
between the husband and the wife.
For example the husband is a highly
educated CEO of a large corporation
while the wife is a much lesser educated
person from a poor family. Can it
be the other way around? It is unlikely
in the old days because the husband
is always the breadwinner. However
in this modern times, where many women
out-earn their husbands, why not?
This next condition
only applies to the woman - at least
in the old days. If she cannot be
a successful first wife, it does not
mean that she cannot be successful
being the second or third one. So,
being the other women can be an option
that leads to success! I am not sure
about being the other man though!
What if none of the
The final option
is to have a spouse that is of a different
race or from a different culture.
For example, an Indian and a Chinese
or between two Chinese brought up
in different places. For example,
one brought up in China and in the
other in the United States.
These are wisdoms
that our forefathers have passed down
to us. So, and especially, if you
are relationship challenged, give
it a try. There is nothing to lose!
Henry Fong [http://www.henryfong.com]Feng
Shui Consultant [http://www.absolutelyfengshui.com]Feng
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Henry_Fong
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